Expose Yourself

Writing a book that had elements of me and my personality was nerve-wracking.

I had no problem doing the writing--but when it came to pushing the actual publish button I felt like I was standing on Madison Avenue naked.  I had second thoughts and regrets, felt exposed yet exhiliarted, and the book was not even available to anyone yet.

But there was a stronger need to get the book out than to let the fear win.  It was not an autobiography and I had to remind myself it was NOT a diary--but a study of a dark personality. 

The writing was cathartic and unnerving.  It dug up corpses I thought would surely remain buried.  I had to deal with emotions I almost forgot I had--and then live with them.

Weeks and weeks passed and I realized I could no longer pretend the emotions and situations the book revealed were just a side effect of writing a novella.  So I faced them.  Friends had to deal with my sudden changes in mood.  My blog had become a dumping ground for every angry thought and question I ever had. I am not even going to mention what my poor family had to go through.  (But thanks if any of you are reading this--friends too.)  I also realized who my real friends are--are who are not.  And I made some great new ones while meandering this unexpected path.  :)

Yikes.

After three days of shock, depression, and a dawning of what I was doing wrong and silly in my life--I faced my demons.  Holy #$%.  This was better than psychological rehab.  I'm not saying I am normal and perfect now and I will never do anything wrong again as long as I live--but I am saying that writing that book (100 Unfortunate Days) allowed me to clear the bats from my belfry.

Oh, there are so many cliches, quotes, and sayings running through my head now:

It's always darkest before the dawn.

You must do the thing you fear the most.

Honest is the best policy.

Just do it.

They all apply--and there are more but I will stop here.

So I guess what I am trying to say is expose yourself.  Let the real you out.  Let it scare the hell out of you and tear everything up in its path.  And when you come out on the other end get ready--you will feel like Rip Van Winkle waking up after his 100 year sleep :)

(The image at the top right is the potential new cover for 100 Unfortunate Days--what do you think?)

Welcome Ashley Fontainne!

Please welcome Ashley Fontainne to As the Crowe Flies!

Please tell me about your book.

Accountable to None is a classic tale of revenge with a modern twist.  Full of suspense and intrigue, you journey with the heroine, Audra Tanner, as she seeks out and finds personal justice against everyone that has hurt her.

When and why did you start writing?

Every since I was young, I found solace in writing, mostly through poems and short stories.  These, of course, were only shared with friends and family members.  However, after taking a Creative Writing course in college, I found my passion!

What inspires you?

Human behavior, good and bad, when faced with monumental decisions.

Are you working on anything now?

Yes, I am currently working on the sequel to Accountable to None, entitled “Zero Balance.”  It begins nine months later where Accountable to None left off.

Is there anything you do NOT like about being a writer?

The only wish I have right now is that it could be my fulltime career!

What do you think of the ebook revolution?

It has been a wonderful journey for me!  Initially, I went the traditional route and sent out dozens of query letters to literary agents and publishing houses and grew tired of the cookie-cutter rejections, so I did a bit of research into Amazon’s Kindle publishing program and decided to try that route.  That was in April of 2011 and since then, I signed with World Castle Publishing.  Accountable to None will be re-released in paperback in 2012 worldwide through them.

How do you see your writing career in five years?

In five years, I hope to be a household name!

Is there anything you will NOT write about?

I enjoy reading suspense/thriller novels, which is probably why I tend to write that way.  The only genre I don’t see myself ever penning a novel in is SciFi.

Please tell us about any ups and downs in your writing career so far.

Writing the novel was the easy part.  Marketing it, not so much.  That has proven to be my biggest challenge as I still hold a fulltime job and attend college fulltime.  My poor husband (bless his soul, he is a Godsend!) must watch me Tweet, Blog and Facebook at night!

Do you have any suggestions to people who might be considering writing as a career?

If writing is your passion, then DO IT!  Don’t let the big publishing houses drag you down.  In today’s world through the ebook revolution, you can do it on your own! 

Facebook personal page:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002323213303&ref=tn_tnmn

Facebook fan page - ATN:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Accountable-to-None/199466916762750

Twitter: @AshleyFontainne

Website: www.ashleyfontainne.com

Blog: http://ramblingsofamadsouthernwoman.blogspot.com/

Book trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHEYq5hCSl0

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Accountable-None-Ms-Ashley-Fontainne/dp/1466453281/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323182266&sr=8-1

Barnes&Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/accountable-to-none-ashley-fontainne/1103738587?ean=2940012946683&itm=1&usri=accountable+to+none

Alter Ego

I was tweeting with a fellow author today and I remarked that I loved her avatar.  She told me it was her alter ego.  I responded by saying I thought everyone needed an alter ego.  And I meant it.

I don't mean alter ego in terms of dissociative identity disorder, or even leading a completely double life.  I was referring to a second-self, another side of us that we use in certain situations. 

Although I don't have an alter ego like Superman, writing under a different name allows me the freedom to be as dark and twisted as I want.  I don't have to worry about my name being attached to horror, and then try to sell a children's book under my real name.

And I like having an alter ego.  It kinda makes me feel cool--which is not what I am.

Please read about me, my books, and my alter ego in Laura Yirak's blog Dreams of Diamonds.

http://dreamsofdiamondsauthor.blogspot.com/2011/12/welcome-author-penelope-crowe.html

Are We What We Write?

I have written several books in the last year, a few of them very dark.  One of the books, 100 Unfortunate Days, was called by a dear friend "a sure sign that you are a lunatic". 

I laughed this off at first because the book is certainly not about me, but the voice kept returning, and I wondered if my writing did indeed prove that I was at least partly nuts. 

After looking up articles from authors including J.K.Rowling, I not only felt better about my mental health, but about my writing in general.  It made me think we all have a story to tell, and we writers choose to tell ours in words.  There are endless ways to be ourselves, and if we have a dark side that needs to be talked about, incorporating it in a story can be a wonderful thing. 

I suddenly have more respect for people who have different passions:  mountain climbing, sky-diving, singing, cooking, or any one of the millions of ways we experience our own lives.  We're going through our #%@ in our own ways.  Good for us.  Find your thing and do it...as soon as you can.  :)

Article on J.K.Rowling and how she began writing.

http://theinnerwriter.com/39/jk-rowling-on-writing-and-depression/

100 Unfortunate Days  -------------->

Everyone I Write About is at Least Partially Me

I published my first book, 100 Unfortunate Days, one month ago. 

The book was written from a dark place, the darkest corner we all find ourselves in sometimes and feel we can't get out of.  It is about a bad marriage, the sometimes awful experience of having children, and other areas that women sometimes don't discuss or admit.   It was written at a feverish pace, and though not about me exactly, much of the book contains my own experiences and feelings. Stephen King said that all of the characters he writes about are at least partially him.  We can't help it--everything we do and think and feel is from our personal perspective. 

Although the narrator of my book is unstable and more than a little crazy, I found writing in her voice to be better than years of therapy.  It made me think of the advice we so often hear in magazines or from friends when something or someone bothers us--write a letter you never plan to send.

Maybe we should write letters we DO plan on sending--not only to the person who has upset us--but to everyone else, too.  Write in your blog, or in a magazine.  We can get validation, or support, or maybe even a scolding if we deserve it--but at least the problem will no longer be only our own.  Write anonymously, or under a pen name.

Maybe if we stop trying to change ourselves we will be able to write more of the truth.

  

 

I Want It Yesterday

I have pondered being a published author since I was 7 years old, when I wrote my first book, The Littlest Grape.  It was written on the paper from a 3 x 5 pad, and the cover was the cardboard from the back of the pad.  The illustration were done in colored pencil, and after I stapled the cover to the pages, I brought it everywhere and showed it to everyone I knew.  I thought it was the best book in existence, and could not even begin to fathom the leap from cardboard and staples to the seemingly magical and unattainable place on the bookstore shelves. 

The Littlest Grape was followed by endless writing. I loved the hit-and-run quality of poems, and one very popular (in my mind) poem I wrote was Waterbed, warning of a baby/waterbed combination.  I also wrote songs. Young Dr. Kildare, a soon-to-be chart topper, was as good as any Partridge Family tune.  I thought the flip side of that particular 45 would be another big hit, Veins in My Thumbs.  And I continued writing books. The Haunted House came with a warning on every page cautioning the reader of the terror he would soon experience.

I kept a diary/account of everything that happened in school and what I thought of everyone in my class in my desk in a maroon pad with a smiley face on the cover. It was discovered and passed around one day when I was absent, and some of the kids were not too pleased about what I had written. Though some of the attention was negative, I loved that people noticed and talked about the diary.

Life takes us many places.  We experience many things.  Some fall away, and some things stick with us.  Writing stuck.

I finally decided I would write as a vocation, and the process suddenly could not happen fast enough.  It was thrilling to publish my first book--but I compared myself to others I knew.  They had several books, and many reviews, and more titles in the works. They had 75 million Twitter followers and just as many reading their blog. I felt I was behind!  I had to catch up!  I had to write more and friend more people and Tweet everyone about everything and...

...then I realized something.  I can't catch up to everyone who has been doing this for a while.  It will take a long time to get followers and friends in this business and I will have to earn them. But the urgency came from a good place...I am finally doing the thing I should have been doing all along.  So--I took a deep breath, calmed down a bit, and let myself feel happy about everything that was going on.  I'll listen to the words of a great writer, Stephen King: 

"You have to read a lot, and you have to write a lot.  There are no shortcuts."

I'm still thrilled about my books and writing, but I'm not going to rush or compare myself to anyone.  I will take my competitive nature and use it to improve my writing.  I still can't wait to finish my next book...


Also want to mention two books I am reading and enjoying.  Cloud Nice is by Melissa Smith.  It is about a self-sufficient teen-aged girl who gets a very special guardian angel, and Underneath, by Heather Adkins, which is about an empathic woman whose new job takes her to deep, dark, terrible places.  I will be reviewing these books as soon as I am done reading them.  So far so great.

http://www.amazon.com/Underneath-ebook/dp/B0055COI9M

http://www.amazon.com/Cloud-Nine-Paranormal-Guardians-ebook/dp/B004D9FF54         

Welcome David Cleinman!

It is my pleasure to introduce David Cleinman, author of Toys in the Attic.
 

Q.  When did you start writing?

I began writing as a young teenager, but didn’t really get serious until a few years ago.  It was one of those things… get a job, work a job, put dreams on hold.  I decided enough is enough and got into a groove. 

Q.  I read the description of Toys in the Attic, and was struck by the fact that the lead character is a woman.  How did you find a voice for her?

As with all my characters, kind of like any artist, they speak to me.  Their voice follows who they are.  I’m not sure I can do the process justice by trying to explain it.  A character must be who they are.  In TITA our character is a severely abused teenager who wants to live a normal life, and makes every possible effort to do so, in spite of the horrible odds against her.  I will also add here that some of her trials and triumphs are largely based on girls I have known and worked with as a counselor and teacher. 

Q.  What inspired you to write this book?

A need to get lingering and horrible emotions out and make some peace with myself and my world.  Knowing teenagers who were raped, and watching them struggle, is tragic and deeply troubling.  I wanted to bring hope and inspiration into a dark and painful topic, while also showing that personal redemption is possible, no matter what the odds to the contrary might be.

Q.  Did the book evolve from your original story idea, and if so, how?

Yes and no.  The idea of the setting and the community were mine.  The events, however, were ALL based on true events, pieced together from different girls and young women I have known.  Some I observed personally.  Some came from reference, some via police reports and personal witnesses.

Q.  Can you tell us a bit about the book?

The book chronicles the life a teenage girl whose mother dies when she is just fourteen, leaving her alone with an alcoholic and severely emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusive father.  Shortly after her seventeenth birthday her beats and rapes her, and she is forced to kill him in self-defense.  She ends up giving birth to his child, an immediate and ever present reminder of intense evil.  Her life, from that point on, is a daily exercise in duality.  The desire to be a top-notch business woman, and the inability to be a parent to a completely innocent child.  As the novel progresses, her personal growth requires her to confront her demons, of which there are so many. 

Q.  How long did the book take to write?

About a year to write, and quite a bit longer to frame in my mind.  Wrapping my head around the emotions and getting out of my own way slowed some of the process, and the end product is better for it.

Q.  Were you inspired by any authors?  Who?

For this novel, no.  Although there are some Stephen King-like concepts, that is fairly situational.  In some ways the must-bes of a given situation.

Q.  Are any of the characters based on real people?

Indeed.  But not so much the characters themselves, moreso the things they have endured and overcome.  The son, Conner, is largely based on a schoolmate of mine in grade school, who also demonstrated uncanny athletic prowess at a young age.

Q.  Was this book easy to write, or a struggle?

Difficult.  Both from an emotional standpoint, and also because I needed to get very delicate and disturbing situations just right.  Because the novel is filled with horrors and triumphs, melding the two together became an ongoing exercise in balance and control.

Q.  Tell me how you picked the title.

The title is a dual reference.  In one way it deals with actual lives built in real attics.  It also refers to the mental struggles we all face, big and small.

Q.  What is your favorite genre of book to read?

I’m pretty open in that regard.  At one time I loved fantasy above all else, followed by science fiction.  As I have matured, while I still enjoy fantasy and sci fi, I am enjoying historical fiction more, and religious irony (I would call it satire if satire did not imply funny). 

Q.  Are you working on any projects right now?

Always.  I am rebuilding my published novel, Principle Destiny.  Pulling it from print and going Indie with it with a new cover and title.  I am rewriting my original fantasy series, begun when I was thirteen, and rewriting another that I began in the early 1990s.  I have recently published an article marketing guide called. Wait for it, The Article Marketer’s Guide, and I am doing a vampire short series that changes the concept from blood to something more scary and less directly edible.

Q.  Do you have any writing goals for the future?

My main goal is to explore myself and create something unique and cutting edge.  I know myself well enough to state that it will be based on emotions and interpersonal struggle, regardless of the final form.

Q.  There are many steps in publishing an ebook, do you like any parts more than others?  What are they?

Really all I would say is that an ebook is just a print book formatted for an eReader.  The writing process is identical.  As always I prefer the story development and the characterization the most.  The formatting part is easier, but a lot less fun.

Q.  From your website it looks like you are very busy, you run a company and a foundation, what made you decide to write and how do you have the time?

I find that I am most productive when I am busy.  If I have too little to do I get bored and lackadaisical.  I need a full plate to keep me going.  In addition, having multiple projects going is more fun than being underworked!

website:  http://www.davidcleinman.com/writings

Toys in the Attic:    http://davidcleinman.com/writings/my-books/about-toys-in-the-attic/