Monday, March 30, 2015

I Will NOT Apologize If YOU Think I Have ADHD--and Other Things I'm NOT Sorry About

I was talking with a friend the other day and realized she apologized endlessly during our conversation. She was sorry for being mad at someone, for laughing too loudly, for talking too much, and a few other things. I never mentioned any of these things as she spoke, and realized many people apologize for almost everything.

I noticed this in her because I noticed it in myself several years ago. 

I apologized if someone mentioned I spoke too slow, or too fast, or they clucked as I tried to carefully put my money away at the register, or WHATEVER. I felt bad if I told the truth, I felt bad if someone felt uncomfortable--even if it was not my fault. And I was not actually sorry--in fact I was kind of mad.

I decided to stop apologizing for nonsense. Here is a list of things I am NO LONGER sorry for:

~ Speaking like I have ADHD. My mind jumps topics, things remind me of other things, and sometimes what you think is a tangent is me explaining things that will eventually come together at the end. Not everyone is linear, and being creative lends itself to idea links. This is ME. Not sorry.

~ Sleeping late. I work at home, I am a writer and and illustator. Unlike many people I sometimes get a burst of energy late at night, and I have some very good ideas after the sun goes down. I am lucky enough to be able to stay up late and take advantage of the hours I keep because I do not have to get up with the birds. I am not lazy or depressed because I sleep til 9:30 am and sometimes work in my slippers for a while. Likewise--I do not think you are acting like you are six years old because you go to sleep at 9:30 pm. 

~ Being a picky eater. Nope--I do not want to try organ meats, raw foods, or anything with cucumbers. I have lived over 50 years and have tried most things at this point, and will not ruin a meal because someone wants me to be adventurous and try something new. I know what I like--you can order anything you please.

~ Looking on the bright side. I regularly assume things will work out alright, because even if they don't there is sometimes nothing I can do, so I make the best of it. My attempt is realism with an optimistic bent.  I almost said sorry if you don't like it--but I caught myself.

~ Living a life I choose. I spent years making everyone happy. My career and life choices were put on the back burner as I helped everyone and put my own needs aside with a sigh. Now I am busy and happy and you may have to wait a bit. Took me long enough.

~ Not being perfectly neat. I have walked into endless homes and have been astounded at the austerity or extreme neatness and organization skills the owner must have. Where is all the stuff? I don't understand how a place where someone lives can be so neat, and I spent years apologizing for having pens, pencils, books, papers and other art paraphernalia around. I like my stuff, and I don't want to put it away because someone walks through the door.

~  Liking what I like. I like scary topics and being spooked, art, pencils, pens, birds, medical , the occult, and religious conversations. No longer sorry that I don't like sports or shopping.

~ Not being good at small talk. I like intense friendships and talking until the sun comes up--but I am not great at social climbing. No interest.

~ And most of all I will no longer apologize for having an opinion that is different than someone else's. 

In no way am I trying to say I am always right. If I hurt someone, or make someone wait, or feel someone truly needs an apology--I am all for it. I just wish we would all stop the needless apologizing over silly things.

Apologizing because you think someone will be mad or because your opinion is different from theirs at you can lead to lowered self esteem, and possibly make you seem like you are weak or lack confidence. Don't apologize unless you are really trying to fix something. Save it for the real thing and use it when it's needed.

So let's break the habit--I feel more genuine, and a bit stronger too since I have changed that habit. We need to stop being sorry for being ourselves.


Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Ten Reasons I Think God Does Not Exist--and If He Does He's Kind of a Dick

There are many obvious reasons to make me believe there is no God. For instance, all the suffering in the world. And ANY incurable or painful disease that children get--that one right there is enough to make me feel IF there is an all-knowing, perfect being somewhere and he is allowing those things to happen--he's a jerk.

My claims are not the opposite in agreement with the theory of Russell's teapot, and there is nothing scientific here. And I agree with Richard Dawkins when he states science has no way of "establishing the existence or non-existence of a god, therefore the believer and disbeliever deserve equal respect."

But I have a list of ten things that are enough to tip me in one direction over the other--no science involved. Here they are:

1. The fact that everything that is even remotely good for you tastes incredibly bad. AND the better for you it is, the worse it tastes. Kale! Superfood! Super GROSS food.

2. The best way to get Vitamin D is from the sun! If we don't have enough of the sunshine vitamin terrible things happen--osteoporosis, depression, heart disease. But sitting in the sun is the best way to get skin cancer. Terrific.

3. If you are a woman you can pretty much bank on having at LEAST one bad week out of every month if you are between the ages of 13 and 50. Which leads to:

4. Pregnancy and childbirth--feeling sick for nine straight months, then going into labor--the worst pain you will probably ever feel in your life, then getting NO sleep for the next two years. The privileges of being a woman.

5. You finally reach the age where you get that week back every month, and you are too tired to care.

6. The most wonderful tasting and feeling things are addictive and terrible for us. Sugar, cigarettes, alcohol, coffee, soda, candy--sigh.

7. You can do everything right--eat the gross, healthy foods, exercise, meditate, get enough sleep--and end up with cancer or have a heart attack. 

8. Sex feels awesome--until you try to prevent pregnancy. Then it becomes inconvenient, less pleasurable, sticky and gooey, or interrupted. Another very pleasant thing with far too many strings attached.

9. We wait for months for the winter months to pass--then the minute spring arrives and the weather is beautiful allergy season begins.

10. Juuuust when we start to accept ourselves and enjoy life--we die.

So this is just scratching the surface--and yes it's a bit of a bitch-fest--but really--if you are up there guy--stop being such an asshole. 

I am not going to quote all the contradictions in the bible or preach about how God destroyed his own creations--twice--you can look that up if you like.

Just wanted to get this off my chest. :) 

Friday, March 13, 2015

Hey Karma, You're Slacking Off

We've all heard the saying "karma is a bitch".

I have to say that I don't think karma is doing a very good job at being a bitch lately. 

I know people that have been doing nothing but good for others for years, and are having nothing but problems. On the other side of the coin, there are so many jerks out there getting nothing but a free ride while they take advantage of everyone and everything.

Come on karma, what's the deal?

Have you gotten soft in your old age? Or have you become somewhat of a hippy, and taken a more live and let live stance on things?

Well, I think you need to step up to the plate. If you see a virtual Mother Theresa helping the poor or healing the sick--DO SOMETHING! Let that person win the lottery--not JLo's mother who won over 2 million dollars in Atlantic City.

Really karma, you're being a dick. 

The God helps those who help themselves thing is not working anymore. It seems you can help yourself and everyone that you know, and the first thing that will happen to you will be BAD. The saying No good deed goes unpunished seems to be more par for the course these days.

Yeah, yeah, Bernie Madoff got busted and thrown in jail and he was a bad guy, but I feel about him what they say about spiders, if you see one there are at least 100 in the same house that you can't see. He just happened to trick someone in a higher position than himself. The zillions of small-time shysters are getting away with things every minute, and because they are smaller and nobody important is getting shysted, they just keep on flying under the radar. 

The world needs help, and karma is not helping anymore.

THIS is how karma should work--CLICK HERE.

I liked the good old days when you did something good and you felt there was something bigger on your side. Now I feel like no one is watching to make sure you do the right thing--and if they are, they are getting some kind of evil kick out of watching us struggle. 

So come on karma, honestly. We meant bitch in the best way possible.