Ten Reasons I Think God Does Not Exist--and If He Does He's Kind of a Dick

There are many obvious reasons to make me believe there is no God. For instance, all the suffering in the world. And ANY incurable or painful disease that children get--that one right there is enough to make me feel IF there is an all-knowing, perfect being somewhere and he is allowing those things to happen--he's a jerk.

My claims are not the opposite in agreement with the theory of Russell's teapot, and there is nothing scientific here. And I agree with Richard Dawkins when he states science has no way of "establishing the existence or non-existence of a god, therefore the believer and disbeliever deserve equal respect."

But I have a list of ten things that are enough to tip me in one direction over the other--no science involved. Here they are:

1. The fact that everything that is even remotely good for you tastes incredibly bad. AND the better for you it is, the worse it tastes. Kale! Superfood! Super GROSS food.

2. The best way to get Vitamin D is from the sun! If we don't have enough of the sunshine vitamin terrible things happen--osteoporosis, depression, heart disease. But sitting in the sun is the best way to get skin cancer. Terrific.

3. If you are a woman you can pretty much bank on having at LEAST one bad week out of every month if you are between the ages of 13 and 50. Which leads to:

4. Pregnancy and childbirth--feeling sick for nine straight months, then going into labor--the worst pain you will probably ever feel in your life, then getting NO sleep for the next two years. The privileges of being a woman.

5. You finally reach the age where you get that week back every month, and you are too tired to care.

6. The most wonderful tasting and feeling things are addictive and terrible for us. Sugar, cigarettes, alcohol, coffee, soda, candy--sigh.

7. You can do everything right--eat the gross, healthy foods, exercise, meditate, get enough sleep--and end up with cancer or have a heart attack. 

8. Sex feels awesome--until you try to prevent pregnancy. Then it becomes inconvenient, less pleasurable, sticky and gooey, or interrupted. Another very pleasant thing with far too many strings attached.

9. We wait for months for the winter months to pass--then the minute spring arrives and the weather is beautiful allergy season begins.

10. Juuuust when we start to accept ourselves and enjoy life--we die.

So this is just scratching the surface--and yes it's a bit of a bitch-fest--but really--if you are up there guy--stop being such an asshole. 

I am not going to quote all the contradictions in the bible or preach about how God destroyed his own creations--twice--you can look that up if you like.

Just wanted to get this off my chest. :)